Breaking Dawn: 9 hours of my life I'll never get back

**If you haven't finished reading Breaking Dawn, you might want to stop reading this because I will discuss what happens.**

Let me start at the beginning. I read Twilight last fall after friends raved about it. I was intrigued at first. I did read a good chunk of the book in a 5 hour span one Saturday afternoon. I wasn't really enjoying it, but for some reason I couldn't put it down. After I finished though, I realized what a waste of my time it was. I tried reading the second book (for several months), but couldn't finish it. The author, Mrs. Meyer, writes about the same conflicts over and over again:
1. Who loves who more? Edward or Bella? (I stopped caring).
2. Does Bella love Edward, her soul mate, or Jacob, her best friend? (Strange conflict considering conflict #1).
3. Should Bella be a vampire? (Yes, so this series will end).

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the lack of serious plot and conversation considering this is written towards young adults. I just felt she could eliminate half of the novels by eliminating the repetitive dialog. Anyway, so Breaking Dawn came out a month ago. I was at work shortly after the book release and saw the book. The woman who owned it was about 10 years older than myself, had just finished it, raved about it, and gave it to me to read. I thought, 'why not, maybe the series turns out good.' (You can stop judging me for skipping the middle two books. I don't feel guilty and I had no trouble understanding the last book).

I had several issues with the book. First (and this is probably just the "scientist" in me), if Edward is a vampire, and vampires have no blood/bodily fluids etc, how exactly did he get Bella pregnant (who at the time was human)?

Second, Jacob the pedophile. Was I the only one disturbed by this? Jacob "imprinted"(fell in love at first sight) with Bella's baby who was only minutes old at the time. What? I just couldn't get past how creepy this was. I understand the author needed a way to keep Jacob connected to Bella, but this is too much. It might be one thing if he came back years later, saw Bella's child as an "adult" (as a vampire-human hybrid she would be full grown by 7 years) and then fell in love with her, but as a "newborn?" Gross. Not to mention that until recently Jacob was in love with Bella. How quickly he changes his mind. Bella and Jacob have kissed too, and now Jacob is going to one day marry Bella's child. Will Bella give her daughter kissing tips about Jacob?

Third, I was tired of reading about Edward and Bella having sex (after they were married, of course). I felt like I was reading one of those Harlequin romance novels and couldn't help but laugh at it. Here are a few gems:

'I heard the fabric tearing under our hands, and I was glad my clothes, at least, were already destroyed. It was too late for his. It felt almost rude to ignore the pretty white bed, but we weren't going to make it that far.'

'I couldn't speak anymore. I lifted my head and kissed him with a passion that might possibly set the forest on fire.'

'"Precisely. So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing nothing. No one has more than I do now."
I was about to inform him of the one exception to his statement, but my lips were suddenly very busy.'

'We laughed together, and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies connected, effectively ending that conversation.'

Wow! The above excerpts were in only one chapter. You can imagine how much more of the same she writes in 750+ pages. I get it: Bella and Edward have great sex. Move on.

Lastly, the length of the book. Bella became a vampire before page 400. What would she write about in the remaining 350 pages? I really don't know. It seems to be a blur of unnecessary dialog and plot. I wanted a good fight scene, perhaps a death or two on the "good-teams" side, something more suspenseful. When the last chapter is entitled, "The happily ever after," you can only imagine how the story will end and how much conflict there will be in the book. Mrs. Meyer has said she couldn't envision the series in only three books. Really? It's called editing. Thankfully the series is over, and I won't have to be tempted by my sometimes misguided curiosity to waste any more time.

No one mourns the wicked

The war is over

I hate fruit flies, I sure do
I hate fruit flies and so should you
They feed on fruity things that rot
And come out of my garbage pot
Their reflexes are lightening speed
"Please hold still," I beg and plead
They breed and breed like its their job
It makes me want to moan and sob
My first trap didn't work so well
I wish that they would go to hell!
Next I tried some plastic wrap
Over a cup of apple sap
They crawl right in and can't crawl out
Looks like they've lost the exit route
I tip the cup and then they die
I surely, surely do not cry
Now that all of them are dead
I finally can go to bed.

The lake house

This past week Summer and I planned another trip to Lake White. I think I'd consider it my new favorite local retreat. Our friends live on the lake so we spent the day tubing and boating.

All the houses around Lake White are white with red roofs and the lake is surrounded by the hills of southern Ohio.

Summer and I tubing


I tried to get Summer off her tube.
It didn't work.


Steve walking on water


View of the lake from their house. Notice the pirate ship to the left.

Yes, a pirate ship/raft. It's awesome.
We towed it behind the pontoon boat & set up a projector screen on it to watch a movie at night.

They've also turned an old school bus into a scarlet and gray traveling party van, complete with futons, a refrigerator and mini-stove.

Did I mention that Lake White is the middle of Pike County so it is "hicks-ville?" Here are some amazing/hilarious things we saw around town.

A toilet being used as a flower pot. Ingenious!

Animals feeding in the front yard.

They were sold out when we stopped inside to pick some up.

The thing

I came out from the movies last night and this is what I saw on my car:

I know that I'm scared of insects, but this is one HUGE praying mantis

Pete was the only one who would get close enough to it, so he provided a size comparison.

Pete was mesmerized by it. I was not.

I also made Pete swat if off the car. Candace and I were too freaked out to go near it.

You say it best, when you say nothing at all...

I love the Olympics. I've thoroughly enjoyed watching this past week, especially swimming and watching Michael Phelps race . However, the announcers have been incredible. And by incredible I mean horrible. Here is a sample from Saturday's race after he won his eighth gold medal.

"Eight for eight. In the 112 year history of the modern Olympic games, more than 100,000 athletes have competed in summer and winter Olympic games. Only one has won eight gold medals. That is called beating the odds."
Beating the odds? Really?

"Michael Phelps and eight gold medals in a single games; never, ever done before, may never be done before. Who knows."
So you're saying it's never been done before?

"Probably doesn't matter what the conditions are. Just wind him up and he goes, although the pool and modern training techniques and the new swimsuits didn't help or didn't hurt rather when it comes to all those world records set here."

And then there is Andrea Kremer, a reporter for NBC who asks the worst questions. Brendan Hansen had not won a medal at these Olympics until the last medley relay. With Michael Phelps standing right next to her, what did Andrea ask Brendan?
"Can you put it in perspective for people what winning 8 gold medals in a single games, 16 overall in an Olympic career means?"
That is the only question she asked Brendan.

Don't get me wrong. I think Michael Phelps's is a great athlete, if not one of the greatest athletes ever. But some of the announcers and reporters need to find some new material. Or stop talking.

Mistakes

I recently heard this quote on a television show and it got me thinking:

"There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not."

I really hate when lines from a tv show strike home. However, this quote sums up many aspects of my life. A few of the more trivial events in my life that I knew might be potential mistakes (and the ones I'm willing to divulge):

• Was it a mistake last week to have 2 cookies for breakfast, a cupcake for lunch and Jeni's ice cream for a mid-afternoon snack? Absolutely. But now I know my sugar tolerance in a 6 hour span.
• Was it a mistake to go Europe twice in one summer even if it meant not divulging the trip to my coworkers and calling in sick from Dublin (great story)? Heck no, although it remains one of my proudest yet shameful moments.
• Is it a mistake to plan another international trip when I just paid off the previous trip to Spain and the student loan bills just started coming? I hope not.
• Is it a mistake to stay up past 10:30 the nights before I go to work? Yes, and yet I continue to make this mistake.

Do I learn from these mistakes? Yes, for the most part. Do I regret some of these mistakes? Of course. But I think I'd rather regret the mistake than regret not even making a potential mistake.

So You Think You Can Dance...

There is this TV show on Fox called "So You Think You Can Dance." It is along the likes of American Idol except, obviously, it features dancers (and the dancers in the show actually have backgrounds in dance so they are really good to begin with). My friends and I got a little "crazy" on the 3rd of July waiting for the fireworks and started dancing. I'm pretty sure we're going to try out next year. I think we have a chance. Especially my friend on the left.

Girls Gone Wild

No, not that kind of girls gone wild. I'm referring to my recent trip to Ikea. My friend Summer needed to outfit her first apt. Ikea recently opened a store in Cincinnati so we decided a trip was in order. Summer rented a U-Haul & we drove down.

The adventure begins

Candace and I overfilled our first cart.

Six carts between us (Well Candace and I only had two of those carts).
The people behind us enjoyed watching 4 people push 6 carts.

With our new purchases

Activities after rain or "It's midnight, now what?"

Last week we got some severe rainstorms.
What do you do when you get that much rain?
Here is a simple formula to follow:

Borrow or find some old t-shirts and shorts that are slippery
(and make the #1 sign with your fingers-you'll look really cool).

Find a park that the cops won't check and look for good puddles.

Form a line

Run and dive

Come to a stop

Get back in line and get splashed.

And if there is time, form a pyramid.

Top 10 moments from my trip to Utah

In no particular order, but somewhat chronological

10. Staying with Katie. We stayed up late and talked like the good 'ole days when we were roommates. A special thanks to Quinn for not waking up while we were talking, but waiting till I went to sleep and Katie had just fallen asleep.

9. Staying with my cousins and staying up talking with Kristen. I love my family.


8. The family reunion. I missed
it last year and was excited
to be in town the same weekend.
I also got the servers to give me extra rolls.
It was my victory of the luncheon.


7. Megan's wedding, which I almost missed because I forgot my recommend in Ohio. At least I realized I didn't have it the night before.
6. Staying with Nate'. Now that she's going to Law School I won't have any more real ties to Turnberry. I guess that isn't really a bad thing though.

5. Megan's mom giving her a "congrats, you're expecting" card instead of a "congrats, you're married" card.

4. Reunions with friends: Andrea, Becca, Chris, Trisha, Jaclyn, Craig, Will, Big Dave, Christian, Kristen.

Pictured here is Andrea


3. In what will come as no surprise to many, food. Or rather, eating at some of my favorite places, and getting my favorite dessert.

2. Running into Troy at East High... It's the start of something new.

1. Katie describing someone as "husky"
and doing the arm movements.
Totally unscripted.
I about fell off the couchwhen she did it,
and did have to ask her to do it again.
Apparently I'm not the only one who
thinks that you have to use the arm movements when using the word husky.