Cruel and Unusual Punishment OR Paybacks a B*$#%!

When I was 8 years old (in the 2nd grade), my dad took me to see Arachnophobia. I'm convinced he thought it was a nature show (why else would he take an 8 year old). It wasn't. It was a horrible, terrifying movie. I've been scared of spiders ever since. That phobia has blossomed into a fear of all crawling insects. Last month this spider took up residence on my back porch:
I made a pact a few months prior (following Kristin's lead) that I wouldn't kill bugs in their natural environment (their home), but as soon as they entered my home all bets were off. So I let the spider stay. I kept hoping he'd get sick of the place and leave. But he didn't. And he only came out at night. One time his web got destroyed in the wind. I hoped he would relocate. Nope. Two hours later he had a huge new web. And I swear he kept getting bigger. By this time Candace has moved in and she's a little freaked out by him too. We named him Volemort. It seemed appropriate for such a horrid creature. We stopped using the back door. Sarah moved in and was also freaked out. After consulting with Kristin it was determined that Voldy had 'intent to enter' and 'intent to harm,' and could be killed. So Candace bought the bug spray. The bottle said "kills on contact," but Candace went a little trigger happy.



That night Candace said she would pack all our lunches for the next day as she was packing food for her drive to NC. I thought it was a nice gesture. The next day at work I opened up the tupperware with my sandwich and noticed something sticking out underneath.
I turned it over and saw this on the underside of the sandwich:


A huge, fake spider that made me jump in my seat.
Thanks, Candace. Just wait till you return in December...

Many are called, but few are chosen

When I was 21 and attending school in Utah I was called to jury duty (I was still an Ohio resident). My mom wasn't happy as at that point she had lived in Medina 20 years and I wasn't even living in the state. Two years later my brother got called to jury duty while he was attending school in another county (he had to decline). Again, my mother wasn't happy that she still hadn't been called. I eventually became a Utah resident, and two years ago when I moved back to Ohio I changed my permanent address back to my parent's in Medina even though I was living in Columbus. Last week my mom called and told me I had been called to jury duty AGAIN. I asked her if she had been called yet. She bitterly told me "no," and stated how she has now lived in Medina 24 years, voted in every election, and has had her children been called 3 times even though they weren't living in Medina any of those 3 times. She's not upset with me, but with the Medina County Courts. I will be declining the invitation again as I can't afford all the days without decent compensation.

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

Last night I dreamt that I was on vacation (it might have been Japan) and there were these animatronic dragons that breathed fire and moved around with no appearance of mechanics. One of them could fly. They were awesome. I'm assuming they were animatronic as I kept trying to get close to them to see them in their glory and because dragons aren't real. I'm pretty sure I had this dream because I saw this on my way home last night:




This is about a half mile from my house in someone's yard. It's been there for the past few weeks. I can't even begin to understand what it is about. It appears to be made out of recycled materials. So these people are apparently pro-recycling and pro-dragons.

Thank you strange people for inspiring dreams.

Oh, and everytime I see the dragon I think of Trogdor. And sing his song.

And my life has reached an all time low...

Last week in church this older couple stood up and said they had just gotten a flier for a "Mid-Singles" conference sometime this fall in Chicago. I thought, "yeah, but that only applies to people who are at least over 33."

Wrong.

This new "Mid-Singles" group is for singles ages 27-45! Yikes! As the website put it, the Mid-Singles group was created "to better serve the needs of singles in the Church who are no longer young enough to fit in with the "Young Single Adult" group but who do not yet feel comfortable attending the all-inclusive social activities for singles between 31 and 100."

Are they trying to slow phase us out of the young single adults group? I didn't think 27 was that old. I can still party with the "young" people. My coworkers think I'm 22 or 23 because I'm so awesome. Anyway, so now I feel really old. And they want us to go to some mid-singles group to hang out with scary older people (I'm referring to the people over 40). I don't want some 45 year old trying to hit on me. I'm pretty sure the guys there aren't going to look like this:

Age 44

or this:

Also 44

But probably more like this:

Maybe I'm stereotyping, but I don't care. This guy would scare me if he came up to me and told me I looked nice or something. What would I even have in common with someone in their 40's? I like being single, but knowing that this is what is out there for me scares me. A lot. Good thing I'm only 24 and don't have to worry about this for a few years.

What did a Ginger ever do to you?

I went to a friend's birthday party last week and on her cake was written,

"You're White, Mormon and not a Ginger. Happy Birthday."

What the heck? I found out she hates gingers. Here is the conversation that followed (the general idea):

Me: "So you hate gingers. Do you hate me too?"
Her: "No, I like you. I just don't like red hair."
Me: "Yeah, I have red hair."
Her: "Yours is different. I don't like redhead children. They're gross."
Me: "I had red hair as a child."
Her: "Well, I never want to have any redhead children. I won't marry anyone who has any red hair in his family. No offense."

This is one of the worst arguments I've ever had. I started talking to friends about it and a friend of mine who lived in England for a few years said that gingers get made fun of over there. Not for being stupid or lazy, but just for being a ginger. Luckily this never happened to me over there. I was never really made fun of as a child. Maybe because I was so cute (below and above):


Anyway, I did a little research and came across some interesting stuff, like this ad (click on to enlarge):

Additional info:

"Gingervitis is a serious disease affecting millions of people. Every day 1337 children are born with gingervitis in the United States alone. Not only do these special people have to struggle with a life long disease in which there is no known cure, they are often the target of ridicule and jokes. The only way we will ever find a cure is if we work together."

What is "Gingervitis?" Here is its description, according to the website:

"Gingervitis is a serious hereditary disease caused by a recessive gene. It can lay dormant for years and two perfectly healthy parents can have Ginger Babies. Gingervitis affects millions of people worldwide. The symptoms of gingervitis include: Red hair, pale skin, and freckles, a “Soulless” feeling. Some Ginger Kids may show symptoms such as violence and depression. Although Gingervitis is not a life threatening disease it can be very serious. There is currently no known cure and very little treatment for Gingervitis."

They had some "fun" facts too:

324904 kids are born with Gingervitis a year.
30% of those infected with Gingervitis live healthy, productive, long lives.
80% of Ginger Kids are totally unaware they are soulless.
An estimated 40% of Scots carry the red gene and 13% actually have red hair.
If the gingers really want to save themselves they should move to Scotland (with pleasure).

Don't worry, there is a pro-redhead website too. They even have t-shirts. I think I'll join the online redhead community.

I think this picture settles it:

In conclusion, my friend may have offended me a little at first (more because I was surprised by her hatred), but the rest of the stuff I included here I find hilarious. Continue to mock, I love my red hair.

Bored and blogging

I got up today to go running and it was raining outside and the time I spent running in the rain in high school equals a lifetime of experience so I decided against it. I had planned on going to the pool after I ran but that is out now too. I cleaned my apt on my last day off and have barely been home in the last few days to do any major damage. I was going to go sailing after the pool but that might be out too. There is nothing good on TV right now, so I'll update this.
*A special thanks to Kristin for the idea. Seeing as how we only have 90 mutual friends on facebook, I felt I needed so share this idea with the friends we don't have in common.

The fifth Harry Potter film came out last week. I saw it at midnight, as usual. I liked it for the most part (the ending was a little disappointing). It's not as good as the books, obviously, so I just have to separate the two from each other. But it made me remember how much I loved the books.

Anyway, the whole movie experience was almost ruined by a stupid Twilight movie preview. As you may recall, I'm not a fan of the Twilight series. I only saw the first Twilight movie a few weeks ago (I rented it from the library so I didn't have to pay for it). It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I had low expectations. Anyway, I was reading Kristin's blog today about the claim that Twilight is the new Harry Potter. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY FALSE (Kristin agrees too). It is a lie spread by those who want their teen romance to be adored by the young and old, like Harry Potter. It won't be. Ever. Have you ever met a guy who enjoys Twilight? A fantasy teen romance can't be compared to a fantasy adventure. There is no real plot in Twilight. No death (except a bad guy or two). No surprises, no heartbreak, no betrayal, no real fight between good an evil. There is nothing to discuss with other readers about Twilight like you can with Harry Potter. I could go on and on, but I'll stop for now.

In conclusion, enjoy this clip about Harry Potter vs Twilight. Very funny. There is some swearing, so be advised.

And enjoy some posters I came across

I've waited all this time...for this?

When I was in elementary school we learned about Ohio history. They talked about interesting places, most of which I didn't find interesting. However, there was one I found fascinating: the Serpent Mound. It is the "largest serpent effigy mound ever discovered." Basically it is a mound of dirt shaped like a snake. Ok, that doesn't sound that cool. Here are some pics and info:

"Representing an unwinding serpent, the mound is sheathed in mystery and controversy. The serpent is thought by most to be about to swallow an egg. However many theories abound suggesting various interpretations. For instance, some think it may represent an eclipse. The eastward curves of the body point to sunrise locations at solstices and equinoxes, and the head to sunset on the summer solstice.

The mysteries don’t stop there. The very ground where the mound rests is also of interest to archeology. Seemingly full of cave-like or hollow structures, it is thought that perhaps there may be more to this serpent resting underground."

When you learn about that in elementary school, it sounds awesome. We lived in northeast Ohio, so southwest Ohio was a bit too far for a school field trip. I knew I had to go someday. A few weekends ago I decided to go on a day trip. I wanted to take a fellow Ohioan who also knew about it and surprisingly the Utahn that came along with us had also heard about growing up (if they are teaching about it in Utah, it must be awesome, right?).

Well, I was a little disappointed. Apparently I never retained the information that it was only 3 feet high. It wasn't that impressive in real life. Here is a picture I took from the watch tower:

That isn't to say the trip wasn't fun. We drove through rural Ohio (always interesting), met some local people (again, always interesting), bought some cameras (in Columbus) and I checked off another place in 1,000 Places to See in the USA and Canada Before you Die book.

For some crazy ideas about the mound from the locals down there, read this (spoiler: crop circles and ufo's).

Overcoming fears, sort of

Last weekend I came home from church and when I walked from the bedroom to the front room I saw what I thought was a leaf on the ground and thought it was odd as I had swept the day before. I almost touched it with my foot until I realized it wasn't a leaf. It was a COCKROACH. Ugghhh! Did I ever mention that I'm deathly afraid of crawling bugs/spiders? It was on its back and I thought it was dead. I got my heaviest shoe and got ready to smash it and then I saw it move! I ran to the other side of the room and debated what to do. I decided to put a cup over it and make my neighbor come dispose of the body. I had to call my mom and make her coax me into it as I was on the verge of tears. I finally put the cup over it and put my 3,000 page nursing book over it as I figured there was no way it could move the cup with that over it. Later my neighbors Clint and Laurie came over and I made Clint get rid of it outside. However, it was already dead by the time we took it outside. I think I suffocated it and that made me happy.













This picture doesn't show how huge and gross it was. It makes me shudder when I think about it.

Good riddance you vile creature. I'm going to call an exterminator in case you moved your family in too.

Oops she did it again

I got a call Saturday night (the 4th) at 11:30pm: it was my mom. Apparently she didn't understand when I told her not to call late at night.
Me: "What's wrong?"
Mom: "Nothing, I just got back from the neighbors party! Can you believe I stayed so late?"
Me: "Mom, I told you not to call me so late. It scares me."
Mom: "You called me earlier. I was returning your call."
Me: "I called at 5pm. It wasn't an emergency. I didn't even leave a message. I appreciate you calling me back, but you could have waited till tomorrow"
Mom: "Oh, well I had so much fun at the neighbors and I wanted to tell you. We were out by their new fire pit. We had so much fun I lost track of time. Look how late it is!"
Maybe I should call her some morning at 5am when she is getting ready for work and see if she gets scared. I'm pretty sure I'll be struck down for trying to get back at my mother, though. And my mom isn't as spacey as I make her seem. She just has senior moments.

Goodbye and goodnight

I have discovered that I spend too much time online. Which is actually too much wasted time. I've been known to spend an hour (or more) on facebook before. And do I ever find anything interesting? Not that often. It's mostly status updates which really aren't that interesting (no offense to those who write them a lot-of course I find yours interesting). I hardly get any good gossip off of it either. The same picture albums keep showing up in the "highlights" section, and I only look at some of them. I just realized I could spend a lot more time doing productive things. This morning I logged off of facebook, logged off of gmail (another time waster-stupid chat) and set about doing productive things. I paid all my bills, mananged my investments, read a book and cleaned my apartment-including the floors and rugs. I even made myself a healthy lunch and dinner. So I'm going to see if I can stay off of the time wasters for a week. Hopefully I will have accomplished enough in that week that I can make this a more permanent thing.
In the meantime, if there is any good gossip on facebook, would you please let me know?