I think I might have a traveling problem

I bought a plane ticket to Belize today. The opportunity presented itself in the form of a cheap plane ticket (thanks to Becca for discovering the deal) and I couldn't resist. Sure the money I've put in my retirement account and other investments over the last 7 years is disappearing [a little too quickly] every day. And yes, I got back from Costa Rica a little over a week ago. I just thought I'd help our economy out by going to another country to spend my money.
If I didn't go, I'd miss this:
The Belize Barrier Reef is second in size to the Great Barrier Reef of Australia and the largest of its kind in the Northern and Western hemispheres.

p.s. kc-this isn't a guilt trip

Lessons from Costa Rica

• The transportation method called ‘jeep boat jeep’ does not involve jeeps but 9+ passenger vans
• Vans getting stuck in the mud leads to great footage and entertainment
• A rainforest can get too saturated with water.
• Getting into cars with strangers is safe and fun
• You can actually get “rained in” in a town or hotel
• Galoshes can be the best thing you buy on a trip; people may laugh at you, but they are only jealous
• You can buy two right shoes and still wear them all day
• Sticking a hair dryer in your jeans is a smart way to dry them
• Sticking a hair dryer in your shoes is not a smart way to dry them
• Recycling is great except when you can’t throw toilet paper in the toilet
• Karaoke bars along the side of the highway are fun for both the drunk people singing and the sober bystanders, especially at 2 in the afternoon
• Bars along the side of the highway does not seem like a good idea
• Mudslides can cause 3 hour traffic jams and 3 hours of fun
• Sloths sleep for 20 hours a day and are great subjects for pictures
• Raccoons who are looking for food will bite your hand if you offer it to them (I wasn’t the idiot tourist who learned this the hard way)
• Some clothes don’t dry even after sitting out for a week
• Wet chewing gum is disgusting
• Oreos in Costa Rica are made with crack
• A “massage” usually means either a ride on a bumpy rode or sex; beware of the kind offered for free from dirty men
• Waterproof cameras aren’t that great when they don’t have a flash
• 80’s music is still very popular in Costa Rica
• League inflation exists in Costa Rica
• Costa Rica is pura vida

A special thanks to Christa for providing the idea for this post

Talking to strangers

Ok, I know I´m on vacation. But I´m also trapped in paradise. Apparently 3 storms have all converged on Costa Rica. It has been pouring rain since yesterday afternoon. We are in Monteverde (a small mountain town) and the roads out of town are all closed due to mudslides, landslides, bridges collapsing etc. Despite this, we're having a blast. And as the above cartoon mentions, we are waiving the rule against talking to strangers due to being trapped. This morning we met an older couple from Israel. We chatted for a few minutes and pretty soon we were in their car driving all over town. This evening we told a young couple we were trying to get to our next destination 3 hours away and they invited us to drive down with them. Oh, and this afternoon we met some people while we were zip-lining and they are coming to get us in a half hour to go salsa dancing in town. Talking to strangers has never been so fun.

If you can't say anything non-creepy, don't say anything at all.

I love my job. For the most part I have good patients. But sometimes I get sleazy men who make creepy comments. Sure I've had a few marriage proposals, and some offers to become a patient's stay at home nurse. I usually laugh at these and play along for a few minutes; these patients are usually harmless. But then I get dirty comments like the time a patient asked me for a viagra while he was bleeding out of an incision near his groin and I unfortunately had to hold manual pressure at the site (sorry if that was "too graphic" for some). He continued to make some additional comments that, well, got worse.
Anyway, this next conversation happened today, and while it isn't the worst I've heard, I just wasn't in the mood. The setting was right before I was going to lunch and I went to check on all my patients. Room 14:

Me: "Hi, how are you doing?"
Patient: "Great! I just had a dream about you."
Me: "Oh really? What was it about?" (my first mistake)
Patient: "I don't think I should tell you." (cue creepy grin)

Seriously? What do you say to that? "Thanks" or "Good for you!"? I think I mumbled an "ok," and left the room. Do these people think they're being funny or complimentary? I'm not amused. I'm not flattered that you're having dreams about me. And in case you creepy men were wondering the highlight of my day is not checking your groin incision for bleeds. Shame on you, dirty men with filthy minds.

I might be struck down for making fun of this, but well, I'll die laughing

I came across this awesome gospel group yesterday and couldn't resist.

The Way: The Renewed Mind is the Key
(the best is the rockin' solo around 01:50)

I wonder if I'd have a better attention span during sacrament meeting if I had this to look forward to for a rest hymn.

We value your feedback

I love fall and I love hot apple cider. The two just seem to fit. There is a Tim Hortons (an eastern fast food chain) at the hospital and lately some of us on the floor have been craving it. However, the machine has been broken for over a month. To make matters worse, they won't take apple cider down from the menu so I get my hopes up every time I work. Last Friday one of the other nurses who loves the cider equally as much suggested we write Tim Hortons an email on their website to make them aware of the problem (the "apple cider campaign"). I sent in a nice email asking them to fix the machine and left my work phone number. Monday I got a phone call at work from someone in the customer service department who told me they would look into the matter and see what they could do. Today I enjoyed hot apple cider. I sent Tim's a thank you email today as I sipped my delightful beverage.

What did I learn? First, hot apple cider is as delicious as I remembered. Second, filling out comment cards [sometimes] leads to big results. Go buy Tim Hortons.

Breaking Dawn: 9 hours of my life I'll never get back

**If you haven't finished reading Breaking Dawn, you might want to stop reading this because I will discuss what happens.**

Let me start at the beginning. I read Twilight last fall after friends raved about it. I was intrigued at first. I did read a good chunk of the book in a 5 hour span one Saturday afternoon. I wasn't really enjoying it, but for some reason I couldn't put it down. After I finished though, I realized what a waste of my time it was. I tried reading the second book (for several months), but couldn't finish it. The author, Mrs. Meyer, writes about the same conflicts over and over again:
1. Who loves who more? Edward or Bella? (I stopped caring).
2. Does Bella love Edward, her soul mate, or Jacob, her best friend? (Strange conflict considering conflict #1).
3. Should Bella be a vampire? (Yes, so this series will end).

I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the lack of serious plot and conversation considering this is written towards young adults. I just felt she could eliminate half of the novels by eliminating the repetitive dialog. Anyway, so Breaking Dawn came out a month ago. I was at work shortly after the book release and saw the book. The woman who owned it was about 10 years older than myself, had just finished it, raved about it, and gave it to me to read. I thought, 'why not, maybe the series turns out good.' (You can stop judging me for skipping the middle two books. I don't feel guilty and I had no trouble understanding the last book).

I had several issues with the book. First (and this is probably just the "scientist" in me), if Edward is a vampire, and vampires have no blood/bodily fluids etc, how exactly did he get Bella pregnant (who at the time was human)?

Second, Jacob the pedophile. Was I the only one disturbed by this? Jacob "imprinted"(fell in love at first sight) with Bella's baby who was only minutes old at the time. What? I just couldn't get past how creepy this was. I understand the author needed a way to keep Jacob connected to Bella, but this is too much. It might be one thing if he came back years later, saw Bella's child as an "adult" (as a vampire-human hybrid she would be full grown by 7 years) and then fell in love with her, but as a "newborn?" Gross. Not to mention that until recently Jacob was in love with Bella. How quickly he changes his mind. Bella and Jacob have kissed too, and now Jacob is going to one day marry Bella's child. Will Bella give her daughter kissing tips about Jacob?

Third, I was tired of reading about Edward and Bella having sex (after they were married, of course). I felt like I was reading one of those Harlequin romance novels and couldn't help but laugh at it. Here are a few gems:

'I heard the fabric tearing under our hands, and I was glad my clothes, at least, were already destroyed. It was too late for his. It felt almost rude to ignore the pretty white bed, but we weren't going to make it that far.'

'I couldn't speak anymore. I lifted my head and kissed him with a passion that might possibly set the forest on fire.'

'"Precisely. So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing nothing. No one has more than I do now."
I was about to inform him of the one exception to his statement, but my lips were suddenly very busy.'

'We laughed together, and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies connected, effectively ending that conversation.'

Wow! The above excerpts were in only one chapter. You can imagine how much more of the same she writes in 750+ pages. I get it: Bella and Edward have great sex. Move on.

Lastly, the length of the book. Bella became a vampire before page 400. What would she write about in the remaining 350 pages? I really don't know. It seems to be a blur of unnecessary dialog and plot. I wanted a good fight scene, perhaps a death or two on the "good-teams" side, something more suspenseful. When the last chapter is entitled, "The happily ever after," you can only imagine how the story will end and how much conflict there will be in the book. Mrs. Meyer has said she couldn't envision the series in only three books. Really? It's called editing. Thankfully the series is over, and I won't have to be tempted by my sometimes misguided curiosity to waste any more time.

No one mourns the wicked

The war is over

I hate fruit flies, I sure do
I hate fruit flies and so should you
They feed on fruity things that rot
And come out of my garbage pot
Their reflexes are lightening speed
"Please hold still," I beg and plead
They breed and breed like its their job
It makes me want to moan and sob
My first trap didn't work so well
I wish that they would go to hell!
Next I tried some plastic wrap
Over a cup of apple sap
They crawl right in and can't crawl out
Looks like they've lost the exit route
I tip the cup and then they die
I surely, surely do not cry
Now that all of them are dead
I finally can go to bed.

The lake house

This past week Summer and I planned another trip to Lake White. I think I'd consider it my new favorite local retreat. Our friends live on the lake so we spent the day tubing and boating.

All the houses around Lake White are white with red roofs and the lake is surrounded by the hills of southern Ohio.

Summer and I tubing


I tried to get Summer off her tube.
It didn't work.


Steve walking on water


View of the lake from their house. Notice the pirate ship to the left.

Yes, a pirate ship/raft. It's awesome.
We towed it behind the pontoon boat & set up a projector screen on it to watch a movie at night.

They've also turned an old school bus into a scarlet and gray traveling party van, complete with futons, a refrigerator and mini-stove.

Did I mention that Lake White is the middle of Pike County so it is "hicks-ville?" Here are some amazing/hilarious things we saw around town.

A toilet being used as a flower pot. Ingenious!

Animals feeding in the front yard.

They were sold out when we stopped inside to pick some up.

The thing

I came out from the movies last night and this is what I saw on my car:

I know that I'm scared of insects, but this is one HUGE praying mantis

Pete was the only one who would get close enough to it, so he provided a size comparison.

Pete was mesmerized by it. I was not.

I also made Pete swat if off the car. Candace and I were too freaked out to go near it.